I Called Her
But not really. I had forgotten about something we used to do awhile back. When the situation wouldn't allow us to contact each other - which was quite often - we would call each other and just let it ring once. It was a way of saying hello and I'm thinking about you. That soon got out of hand and our spouses were getting suspicious* so we stopped that. So, I called her, let it ring once just to say hello and I'm thinking of you. But unfortunately I have no idea if she was home to hear it. Sigh.
Broke down a little last night. Was watching the Samurai and at the end when the Emperor had realized he was responsible for destroying the Samurai, and he was remorse for this was not at all his intention, I had tears in my eyes. Made me think that's what Sara was doing with us - destroying something so incredible - but hoping she realizes that before its too late. I know, the Samurai, our affair. The Samurai, our affair. Not exactly the same magnitude. But for those of you out there that longs for somebody you love dearly - its pretty easy to draw these correlations in many things. Anyway, if I hadn't fallen asleep so quickly I probably would have silently cried myself to sleep. It feels like today is going to be a day to reminisce.
*If the wind changed directions our spouses would be suspicious of something. A topic of another post.
Broke down a little last night. Was watching the Samurai and at the end when the Emperor had realized he was responsible for destroying the Samurai, and he was remorse for this was not at all his intention, I had tears in my eyes. Made me think that's what Sara was doing with us - destroying something so incredible - but hoping she realizes that before its too late. I know, the Samurai, our affair. The Samurai, our affair. Not exactly the same magnitude. But for those of you out there that longs for somebody you love dearly - its pretty easy to draw these correlations in many things. Anyway, if I hadn't fallen asleep so quickly I probably would have silently cried myself to sleep. It feels like today is going to be a day to reminisce.
*If the wind changed directions our spouses would be suspicious of something. A topic of another post.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:10 AM
2 Comments:
She is destroying something so incredible?? And you hope she realizes it before it's too late.
Look-I am not judging here or trying to make your feelings less valid-but this isn't easy for her either. It's not as incredible as you romanticize it to be. There is guilt and shame. Constantly. She is obviously hurting. She is trying to do what is right by her family and by yours. She is tryng to not be selfish. She is trying to stop things before more people (besides you and her) get hurt. And it is eating her up inside. It is killing her to not call you.
But maybe she has finally found the inner strength to do what is best. I wish I had that kind of strength and resolve.
Thanks BG. I can always count on you to remind me of what she is going through as well. And what is driving this for her.
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