Gone Fishing
A thought struck me totally out of the blue last evening. I wasn't even thinking about Sara when it hit me. Is it possible she went fishing in her last email to me? And when I didn't bite, it formed a new resolve in her to walk away? At first I was surprised since it seemed to come out of nowhere. But she had previously stayed away for about 10 days, and probably thought she was proving something to me. Here is what she wrote:
I think you are finally realizing it's over for me. From where I stand, I see you hoping to hold on to the sex part...the chance of getting together once or twice a year. For a woman it's much more than that...it takes feelings, etc. Those feelings aren't there like they use to be. And as far as your hopes to rekindle...not likely. Atleast it hasn't happened in what? two or so years now?
I guess we can e-mail as friends. But is that really what you want? In the overall scope of things I think that belittles all memories of what we had. What's your opinion? If I felt anything anymore I should be concerned about you/us. I'm not.
The whole point of this e-mail is to try & figure out where you are. What are you holding out for? What are you hoping for?
Long time ago you said something to the effect of having good memories of what we had. I feel like those are dwindling quickly....for both of us. I feel that you are ruining what we've had in hopes of having more.
She sounds so very sincere and convincing, but its deja vue. A little over two years ago I got the same speech. A few months before, she had just given birth to her 3rd child so during the time leading up to and after the birth, things had cooled completely between us. Not two months later I received an email from her that read: "Hush - don't say a word - i love you". Followed by several months of intense get togethers and even more deeper emotions between us. That was abruptly ended by her discovery of being pregnant again with her 4th. And yes, there was a very real possibility it might have been mine. But it wasn't.
No, I'm not wanting to live in the past. What's not allowing me to believe her is her contention her feelings have been gone for almost two years. But too much had happened between us emotionally during the last two years, its impossible to think otherwise. The most recent emotional breakdowns (crying) has happened over the last few months. And these weren't breakdowns pertaining to her desire to leave, it involved her desire to have more of me than she can have. So, am I really being thickheaded and too blinded by love for doubting her sincerety?
I think you are finally realizing it's over for me. From where I stand, I see you hoping to hold on to the sex part...the chance of getting together once or twice a year. For a woman it's much more than that...it takes feelings, etc. Those feelings aren't there like they use to be. And as far as your hopes to rekindle...not likely. Atleast it hasn't happened in what? two or so years now?
I guess we can e-mail as friends. But is that really what you want? In the overall scope of things I think that belittles all memories of what we had. What's your opinion? If I felt anything anymore I should be concerned about you/us. I'm not.
The whole point of this e-mail is to try & figure out where you are. What are you holding out for? What are you hoping for?
Long time ago you said something to the effect of having good memories of what we had. I feel like those are dwindling quickly....for both of us. I feel that you are ruining what we've had in hopes of having more.
She sounds so very sincere and convincing, but its deja vue. A little over two years ago I got the same speech. A few months before, she had just given birth to her 3rd child so during the time leading up to and after the birth, things had cooled completely between us. Not two months later I received an email from her that read: "Hush - don't say a word - i love you". Followed by several months of intense get togethers and even more deeper emotions between us. That was abruptly ended by her discovery of being pregnant again with her 4th. And yes, there was a very real possibility it might have been mine. But it wasn't.
No, I'm not wanting to live in the past. What's not allowing me to believe her is her contention her feelings have been gone for almost two years. But too much had happened between us emotionally during the last two years, its impossible to think otherwise. The most recent emotional breakdowns (crying) has happened over the last few months. And these weren't breakdowns pertaining to her desire to leave, it involved her desire to have more of me than she can have. So, am I really being thickheaded and too blinded by love for doubting her sincerety?
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:54 AM
1 Comments:
My haven't we become righteous all of a sudden. Put all your eggs in one basket and still screwed around 3 times. Congratulations that you finally "get it" now. Of course that absolves you of your past sins and now allows you to speak your wisdom as you grind us heathens under the weight of your born-again heel.
I'm still waiting for that time when I finally "get it", and when that happens I will probably try to help others to "get it" as well without coming across like a knuckleheaded fuckterd. :)
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