Too Much Drama At One Time
Still trying to resolve the other drama in my life. Actually thats not true, I'm trying to avoid it for awhile, but that seems to take up just as much time. Sara finally checked in Saturday night, only a few hours after I finally decided to leave an email. This is only a coincidence since I know that's the first time she's been in the account in 10 days. She obviously made another attempt to walk away. The whole purpose of me 'taking a break' is to keep me from the anxiety of wondering if she'll be back. It happened anyway. Go figure. Anyway, she left me a few emails, but I didn't retreive them until Monday morning. But then she left me another one yesterday that kind of surprised me. Not so much the content, it was nothing she hasn't said before, but because it had to deal with 'us'. She has avoided that conversation the last few times we chatted so I knew something was up. She's just wondering again what I'm getting out of this and started into her 'feelings for me have been gone for 2 years now' speech. I responded to it, but not like I have in the past. I felt something else was prompting this discussion so I asked her what really is going on. No reply yet.
What keeps her coming back only to try to convince me her feelings for me aren't the same anymore? Is she trying to protect herself from me? It seems as if her heart keeps pulling her back to me, yet her head is trying to convince me otherwise. You think?
What keeps her coming back only to try to convince me her feelings for me aren't the same anymore? Is she trying to protect herself from me? It seems as if her heart keeps pulling her back to me, yet her head is trying to convince me otherwise. You think?
posted by do_in_it_2 | 6:47 AM
2 Comments:
I have been seeing a married man for a year and a half. I am married as well. We have never slept together but we have done everything else. We have professed our undying love to each other. We work for the same company in separate buildings. We have access to an online msg system. We see each other maybe once a month and it's always the same thing. I miss you, I love you, hop in the car and lets go make out. We want to be together but are trying to do the right thing by our marriage vows. He races home every night to his wife and child. He never seems to find time for me, even just to bullshit once in a while at work. We can go a week here and there not talking about our love for each other or our semi-affair. He always drops a bomb on me saying how he can't live without me and wants to be with me. I believe he pulls this crap because his need to be 'needed'. Last friday he has decided to end this semi-affair and just be friends. His reasons are he cannot dedicate any time for me and he cannot contribute to our relationship. This is ok with me. I will learn to deal with it. What was days of constant talking (on the phone, on line, on cell phones) has turned into finding time to talk to me at HIS convieniece. My question to you is, how to you attempt to get over someone? How do you relieve yourself of this pain that's become more of hurt rather than a good feeling high? Do I ignore him? Do I block him from our msg system? Since this has ended at his request, what do I do?
Anonymous - if you had left a return email I would be happy to answer those questions, but I'd rather not make this a public forum for me giving advice. Please send me an email and I'll respond back.
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