She's Gone - again

Locked the account and left once again. She can do this a hundred times (its getting close to that) and each time I'm certain its the last. And each time I tell myself that if she ever did come back, it was absolute proof that she still wants and needs to be with me. But for years, she comes back, then leaves again, and I'm back to wondering the same thing. And as always, I'm leaving her an opportunity to prove me right or wrong. But now I understand why I create a new account and wait. I always seem to want that last 'proof'. I could end this endless circle by not creating a new account and forcing her to live with her last decision to leave. But my stubborness always gets the best of me. I've told her many times that if she really wants this to end, she just needs to let it all out in an email. Tell me what we both know to be true. Recognize the fact that she wants and needs to be here, but her morals won't allow that. That's it. And I promised her I wouldn't open another account again. Now, even if she really didn't feel that way, don't you think she would write that email to get rid of me for good? I know I would.