In Response
I understand that there is much in our past that I haven't touched on here yet. The important one is that she has said these things before in an attempt to push me away. And it worked, but she still came back. Then at a later date admits that it was a ploy. So that's why its hard to believe that she means what she says. But nevertheless, she is wanting to push me away - for whatever reason - and she is succeeding. That's all there is to this. She is free to leave at anytime. The only variable here is whether I leave her messages to come back to. Regardless of her true feelings, the real fact is that I am a burden to her at this point in her life and I intend to correct that.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 11:50 AM
1 Comments:
When you end a normal relationship, there's a reason that is difficult for both of you to get past. It's obvious you're at an impasse, and going forward is futile.
Ending an affair has different reasons and different problems. Often, both of you need to be strong. There is no greater spot of momentary happiness for either of you than with the other. You no longer have those calls or messages to leave or to look forward to. All the secret rituals are replaced with emptiness. There's a sad loss in knowing the other person isn't thinking about you because you've both moved on. Those memories become sweeter and sweeter until it's hard to remember WHY it ended, and in a moment of physical weakness (or drunkenness) you break down and ask for it back, even for just one more time together.
Unless you have no compassion for the other person at all and can use them like a blow-up doll, you know you have to end it for their mental health, maybe more so than your own. You ask them, "is this too hard for you?" and you try to hear what they're saying as well as what they're not saying. But your own desires are still pushing and playing behind the scenes. So maybe she is sacrificing her happiness for yours, and you see through the reasons she's giving you and don't accept them, whereas you know you need to sacrifice her happiness for hers, but you hope for all the hidden signs that she won't accept it either.
For some people the worst part is the silence and the emptiness of knowing, after this, there is no more. The sudden death. For others the worst part is the painful slow withdrawal until they just don't answer any messages anymore and make you feel like you're bleeding out slowly.
There's no easy painless way to handle it. You're a boulder crushing half her body. There's the pain of the weight on her, but if you release her, there will be the pain of her injuries to deal with. You can't turn back the clock, but can you resolve to not make matters worse?
Post a Comment
<< Home