Searching For An End

Kayten had pointed out in a comment to my previous post that I should rewrite the description of my blog. It's become obvious to her that I'm not attempting to end this affair. Understandably it seems that way, but the reality of it is that I know it must end. I always thought there would be a perfect way to end things between Sara and I. When I started this blog, it was during a time where I found myself wanting to walk away as well. We were both in a good place when it ended at that time, and I finally felt that a 'perfect' ending is possible. But her place wasn't as good as mine and she came back, and with it came all the feelings and emotions. She left twice after that, once without saying a word - not good with me, and the other time she left upset - absolutely not acceptable for me. And with her coming back each time after told me it wasn't sitting well with her either. But now its her birthday and I want it to be special so I intend on making it that way. She still very well might have other plans. She hasn't checked in yet this morning - not surprising though. She still very well might catch herself from coming completely back to me. She still very well might have left again. So you see we are still a work in progress - the end being our goal - and probably will be for some time.

*Edited*
Kayten had pointed out that I might be a little confusing in what I've said. I'm not formulating any plans to end things at this moment. I just want us to get together soon and just escape reality - like we do so well with each other. Once before, our pillow talk involved making that the last time, but it was short lived. Speaking for myself, I was in a good place and felt it would work, but obviously it didn't for her. That subject might very well come up again - as pillow talk.