Obsessing

Having a hard time today. I guess the longer I don't hear from her, the worse it gets. I'm having doubts now about next Tuesday. If she doesn't check in at all until then, I'm not sure what I'll do. I was never able to find a woman for her so that's not going to be happening. I want to buy her some presents, but I think it'll just add to the hurt if she doesn't show up. Thing is, I don't feel like getting her anything anyway. I know that'll change the second she checks in, but for now, no desire, I'm too pissed. And the problem is I'm extremely limited on when I can get her something. It's coming down to Monday during lunch is my only opportunity now. I'm definately obsessing about her today. In a big way. I want to call her and just tell her to get fucked. I want a pity party.

Yes, I realize that if she shows up, it'll mean that I forced this on her. Created a situation too good, too difficult, for her to pass up. I don't feel great about that, but that feeling will disappear the second her mouth swallows every inch of my cock.