All is OK

Sara left me a message. Probably because I asked her to take one minute our of her busy day and let me know if everything is ok, if she's ok, if we're ok. And it is. And as she caught me up on what's going on with her, there was a baby screaming in the background, and her two boys were either fighting, or playing agressively. But she seemed to block all that out as she sounded cheery, happy, and sincerely apologetic for not taking more time out for me. I felt bad thinking she felt the need to apologize, but it was so good to hear that she's seemed to have found a place for all of us. But I'm afraid the growing need and desire to see each other again, and the realization that its these other things that are getting in the way of that, will disrupt the present balance. And that's where I need to tread lightly. She must never doubt how bad I want to see her, but in doing so I can't allow her to feel any overwhelming pressure to make that happen.

Lunch with Nastya today. I hope my expectations of her doesn't cause me to push things too fast. I want her time. I want her friendship. I want her to be the diversion I need, to help keep the balance going with Sara. As much as that sounds like I'm using her, I don't feel that way. I sincerely like Nastya, and I like her company.