It's All Good
Sara had found time to leave me a few messages over the weekend and its all good. She is sincerely apologetic about her lack of communication and asks that I continue to be patient because she loves knowing I'm there (here) for her. I can hear in her voice that she continues to be in a good place and that has really put my mind at ease. She still hopes to 'tease' me Friday night, but realizes her husband will be making the decision where they go to party that night. And she has reminded me that it is only three weeks till our own anniversary (4 years) and her plans are still to see me that weekend. Albeit we may never find much time to be alone together because she will be with friends. But we do have a room just for us just in case any opportunities arise.
So how does any of this affect my relationship with Nastya? I'm not sure. Knowing that Sara counts on me to be there for her, and that she truly makes an effort to make time for me, I guess I've got slightly mixed emotions about now. But these are things that I knew, or at least suspected, of Sara, and Nastya helps me from pressuring for more from Sara. So really nothing has changed. But there is no doubt my heart still belongs totally to Sara. It's all good.
So how does any of this affect my relationship with Nastya? I'm not sure. Knowing that Sara counts on me to be there for her, and that she truly makes an effort to make time for me, I guess I've got slightly mixed emotions about now. But these are things that I knew, or at least suspected, of Sara, and Nastya helps me from pressuring for more from Sara. So really nothing has changed. But there is no doubt my heart still belongs totally to Sara. It's all good.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:10 AM
5 Comments:
Is it nitpicky to ask if your 'affair' heart belongs to Sara, or if you're saying that your whole heart belongs to her?
And - the anniversary - are you saying that you may see her somewhere but she'll be with friends & thus unable to actually interact with you? --VM--
VM- I'm pretty sure its my whole heart. I don't think it's possible to piece it out like that. Even four years later I still get that ache in my heart whenever I think about her.
In a few weeks we will both be at the same event where we had met 4 years ago. (As it turns out we have both frequented this event for several years before we met.) She was with friends, and so was I. It will be the same again this year. Two years ago we met up here as well and fortunately my friend (only friend who knows about Sara) ran interference most of one night with her friends so that Sara and I had time together - alone. Unfortunately he won't be with me this year. One more problem - the friend she will have with her is the first friend she told about us. She had a long talk with Sara convincing her to end it, and as far as she knows to this day, it's been over.
Guess you're right, haven't said much about her. I'll post an update.
Sounds like its a confusing time right now. Your needs are not being met fully with Sara, or else you wouldn't be interested in pursuing Nastya??
bf - bingo! i think you figured it out for the both of us. my needs are NOT being fully met by Sara at this time. and i don't want to pressure her about that because i believe once her oldest are back in school, things should change.
after all, sex is a big part of an affair, and i still have that need. it must be met. by somebody.
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