What's Up With Nastya?
I was reminded that I hadn't really been saying much, if anything, about how things are with Nastya. Other than the initial bond we kinda had for each other, things haven't progressed any from there. What's wierd is that we are very comfortable with each other - never hesitating to ask each other out to lunch. But with that said, we also seem very nervous when we are together. First date nervous. But that probably might come from my hesitation to respond to subtle signals I get from her at times. She places her hands close enough to mine which makes me want to hold them. I don't. She walks close enough next to me which makes me want to put my arm around her. I don't. She stands close enough in front of me which makes me want to kiss her. I don't. Yet, I seem certain that if I did do any of these things, she would withdraw her hands. Her shoulders. Her lips. Because I'm certain the fact that I'm married remains in the forefront of her mind. Going slow is good for me, but I'm afraid if I go too slow, she'll lose interest. Not really sure what I should do. We seem to have the friends part down pretty good. Maybe its time to investigate the benefits part? How do you do that without jeopardizing the friendship?
posted by do_in_it_2 | 1:08 PM
4 Comments:
vm - marriages can never be expected to be as captivating as an affair would be. especially with kids. taking a step back, the reason i started my affair with Sara was strickly for the sex. it became more than that. but as beautiful face pointed out in a previous comment, at this time Sara is not filling my needs, so i guess i'm looking to Nastya to do so.
Sara is not filling my needs, so i guess i'm looking to Nastya to do so.
I find it interesting that your wife isn't filling your needs and neither does your mistress. Does anyone ever stop to consider that they are in fact the ones with the problems? What happens when Nastya doesn't fill those needs either? Or anyone, for that matter?
anon - you know, i've been chewing on that comment after i said it. i'm not sure it's totally how i feel but it seems to make sense of what might be going on here. i believe the statement is true, but what it implies might be misleading. let's summarize:
1)i love my wife, but totally lacking in needed sex.
2)met Sara - awesome sex.
3)fell in love with Sara, but now lacking in needed sex.
4)Nastya
Hmmmm, i'm seeing an obvious pattern develop here. but i'm not sure what seems so obvious is actually what's happening.
VM - LOL. I'm sorry I don't get introspective enough, but most of the time I don't see it leading to anything constructive. I'm not sure if its a disconnection as much as a feeling of distance. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, she is here, but just inches from my fingertips. That comes from no email contact for now, and occasional voicemail. Remember, not only does she have to entertain 4 kids, but her husband is home all the time now.
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