Guess Its Time
Aside from having a dream about Sara last night that left me depressed when I woke up, I've been doing waaaay to good. Maybe its a sign I turned the corner, or maybe its complete confidence that she'll be back. I'm not sure, only time will tell. I'm where I want to be if we ever really ended things. Anytime I think about her I get a great warm feeling inside. There is no melancholy or bittersweet emotions that surface as they have in the past. That few month period where she left her walls down and shared with me her angst, misery, wanting and turmoil has left, what I hope is, an indelible impression in my mind and heart. But.... only time will tell for sure.
Am I ready to walk away and never look back? Nope. My desire for her is still too overwhelmingly strong. Let's just say I'm walking away, but I will continue to glance over my shoulder. That's a start in the right direction at least.
Am I ready to walk away and never look back? Nope. My desire for her is still too overwhelmingly strong. Let's just say I'm walking away, but I will continue to glance over my shoulder. That's a start in the right direction at least.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:04 AM
4 Comments:
Question: why are you walking away? Just to prove to yourself that you can? I have never really gotten a clear idea about why you would feel as if you had to leave or end things. You have always seemed content to let this go on for more years. Can you explain your thinking at this point? --VM--
Don't you just really miss the sex too?
Maybe all the mind games finally got to you?
(And who is this VM? Reveal yourself.)
Maybe I'm not doing a good enough job explaining myself, but I really do want to do whats best for her. I just couldn't get past my selfishness (and the thought of giving up the sex) to do it for her. I think I'm there now.
Still can't get past the part of the awesome sex though. No doubt that will be a regret for the rest of my life. As is always said - you regret the things you don't do more than the things you do.
i think it's hard to walk away and never look back... especially when someone has left such an impression on you.
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