Afraid
In a comment to my previous post, VM had asked what would be so bad about meeting a new woman. I'm not against doing that, especially if it helps me help Sara move on with her life. The problem comes from a realization that only had occured to me yesterday. Since the moment I laid eyes on this new woman, I had never looked at her in a sexual way. Yes, she is very sexy, but the thought of what a great lay she would be had never entered into my mind. And it still hasn't. That has only happened once before in my life that I can remember. Yes. The time I met Sara. All those feelings I felt that night are identical to what I felt with this new woman. Including not being able to sleep most of the night afterwards. I'm afraid to find out that those deep, one of a kind feelings I had for Sara in reality wasn't so special. And that would really make me feel terrible. Betrayed by my own heart.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:06 AM
2 Comments:
its scary isn't it? i actually can't wait for the day when i can feel for another the way i felt for d but i don't feel that will be coming anytime soon...its helping me put my energy into my marriage, which is a good thing, but it also feels like i locked my heart and threw away the key
enjoy feeling alive again..
bc- i don't really feel alive. mainly because i'm still kicking myself for not passing her the note. there are couple (slightly risky) ways of trying to establish contact with her. but there's no guarantee it'll work. and maybe for the best.
that's really freaky. the word i need to verify to send this comment is only two letters off from spelling this womans name. and her name is far from being a common name.
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