Hidden Expectations
I'm beginning to wonder if the reason for my contentment right now is less a result of exceptance and more a result of hidden (subconscience) expectations. Yes, I do expect Sara to contact me before/during Christmas. But that's the extent of my expectations. Yes, I do hold out hope that we will be together again. But that hope isn't driving any expectations. That I'm aware of. I've been taking this day by day. As I've mentioned before, I don't even attempt to envision a future that does not include Sara in some way. But if day by day that time in the future arrives without her, then so be it. But I don't think exceptance will ever occur. Just continued hidden expectations. And if they remain hidden, and I continue with my day to day contentment, is there unforeseen problems lurking up ahead for me?
posted by do_in_it_2 | 8:18 AM
4 Comments:
i continue to long and have expectations...can't seem to shake them
are they just future disappointments?
who knows?
but i can still hope for the passion again
i can't stop hoping
It is the hoping that gets us into trouble. Acceptance is crucial to the enjoyment of the lives that we live. Sara had to accept that you were not going to leave your wife, and that she could not accept the energy expenditure necessary for her to suspend her disbelief & continue with you. Maybe you should accept that the affair has no legs for the future unless your life circumstances were to change...? --VM--
VM - Not necessarily. I'm hoping we have snow on Christmas. That hope is not setting up any expectations. That hope does not alter how I will live my life at the present. But it is nice to think how more wonderful that day will be if it does snow. I feel acceptance of no snow on Christmas would be like moving to southern Florida. Never being able to hope for snow on Christmas. How depressing that could be.
Lol...I come from the land of hot Christmases...lamb chops on the bbq, crisp salads and lots of ice cold beer.
But I guess the hoping for snow thing is a tradition yes? Probably much like we hope for weather that isn't too hot, a cool late afternoon sea breeze to soothe our sunburnt faces and overfeed bodies...lol...need I go on?
Sorry to hijack that, your comment just got me thinking all wonderful Christmassy thought :)
Love
MG
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