Needless to Say
**revised for clarification**
Today will determine just how my mood will be during, and after the holidays. Oh, come Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I'll definately be enjoying my family. There's enough going on during that short period of time that I won't have time to think. But what will be loitering around in the back of my mind is how Sara has chosen to forget me. Chosen to be more concerned about herself and made the choice to not care about me. This obviously isn't the first time she took this road. But that doesn't mean the hurt isn't still going to cut deep. That doesn't mean that I haven't overestimated the power of true love. *** Which means I have overestimated the power of love. *** Today will be the last chance she will have to get in touch with me before Christmas. I have set myself up for an enormous letdown. Damn those expectations.
Something MG posted the other day is where I feel I'm heading. I can't sit back and let her get away. Of course, she has to feel the same way.
Today will determine just how my mood will be during, and after the holidays. Oh, come Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I'll definately be enjoying my family. There's enough going on during that short period of time that I won't have time to think. But what will be loitering around in the back of my mind is how Sara has chosen to forget me. Chosen to be more concerned about herself and made the choice to not care about me. This obviously isn't the first time she took this road. But that doesn't mean the hurt isn't still going to cut deep. That doesn't mean that I haven't overestimated the power of true love. *** Which means I have overestimated the power of love. *** Today will be the last chance she will have to get in touch with me before Christmas. I have set myself up for an enormous letdown. Damn those expectations.
Something MG posted the other day is where I feel I'm heading. I can't sit back and let her get away. Of course, she has to feel the same way.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:06 AM
1 Comments:
You can't let her get away from...what? From a half life? From constant distraction and dissatisfaction? From occasional, stolen, furtive sex ? From fear that she is wasting her life being unhappy? From sadness that you will never leave your wife and move in with her and her children? It seems to me that to expect her to do anything in the halfway range is for you to be incredibly selfish. You know what she really wants and you will not accomodate her. You gave her what she (at least thought she) wanted - for a while - and when it became too much for her - she pulled out, the first time. I don't know how many times she's tried to end this - do you? - but it's clear that she needs it to end, until and unless you do what she really desires.
Love has nothing to do with this. If it were only about love, or even true love, then both of you would have left your spouses years ago. Clearly both of you are making other considerations that extend beyond the secret world of the relationship. Can you not just trust that yes, she did love you, yes, she likely still does, and yes, this needs to stay over? --VM--
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