I Know, I Know
As is the case most times, whenever I attempt to reply to comments, it turns into subject matter for a new post. This is in response to comments on my post yesterday.
I know, I know. I promised myself I wouldn't contact her unless I was willing to make this 24/7. I have accepted the fact that continuing the way we were has caused her way to much grief. But I also know that she has always looked to me to fix things for us. Make it work. That's why she has come back so often because her way brought her just as much grief. Of course, I was unaware of this untill about 6 months ago when she finally confided in me with this fact. All along I assumed she came back because she wanted back into what we had. Now I know better, and now I feel a greater responsibility towards her. But I'm finding it hard to give up on us. I made myself except the line in the sand she has drawn because it would make me take a real hard look at our relationship and how very serious our situation has become. And how it is now time to actually seriously consider the possibility of us being together fulltime. But I can't do this on my own. I need her to participate in this discussion because I'm not sure she has actually considered it seriously either. It is this discussion I wanted to initiate when/if we got together again.
I know, I know. I promised myself I wouldn't contact her unless I was willing to make this 24/7. I have accepted the fact that continuing the way we were has caused her way to much grief. But I also know that she has always looked to me to fix things for us. Make it work. That's why she has come back so often because her way brought her just as much grief. Of course, I was unaware of this untill about 6 months ago when she finally confided in me with this fact. All along I assumed she came back because she wanted back into what we had. Now I know better, and now I feel a greater responsibility towards her. But I'm finding it hard to give up on us. I made myself except the line in the sand she has drawn because it would make me take a real hard look at our relationship and how very serious our situation has become. And how it is now time to actually seriously consider the possibility of us being together fulltime. But I can't do this on my own. I need her to participate in this discussion because I'm not sure she has actually considered it seriously either. It is this discussion I wanted to initiate when/if we got together again.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 7:51 AM
7 Comments:
Get a backbone, act like a man...hell, act like a compassionate human and just LEAVE HER ALONE!
You don't need to discuss the maybes or possibilities with her. How about you "fix" things by finally just living up to your own words, taking no for an answer from her and LEAVING HER ALONE!
If only it were that simple. But I'm trying.
anon - this seems to have struck a nerve with you. i'd be curious to know why.
so are you saying now you would be with her fulltime, as in all the time? forever, for life?
All I know for sure is that I'm to the point where I want to seriously discuss it with her. I think before either of us can make that decision, we have to sit down and actually discuss it. When the reality of it sets in, it could be very possible she would be the one convincing me its not a good idea. And I'm sure it'll be because of the 6 kids involved.
the closer we get, the more we fear that what we touch we'll never be able to let go of. knowing only one thing for certain. that eventually it will leave us.
and we will be different people because.
not better. not worse. just different.
a series of knots in a long rope gathering grips.
what almost was. what never could be. not for the reasons you've both come to accept.
still the hour chimes with a certainty. counting down, not forward. ticking off the life we've left to live.
the promise of.
the further she gets. the better you can see.
- best of luck.
She's been yearning for this for 4 years and now you say..."it is now time to actually seriously consider the possibility of us being together fulltime"
The POSSIBILITY? OMG...where have you been? I think you've hurt her too much to salvage anything.
Yeah. You know I've been reading since the beginning here, but c'mon. You can't polish a turd and call it a diamond! In other words - you want to fuck her again, just to see if you can, just because you hate that she's called the shots on this one. Or maybe you hate the thought of her moving on to someone else, or you hate the thought of not having her under your thumb (or under your dick!). If you're only now willing "to actually seriously consider the possibility..." then it means that for 4 years you were never entertaining that - while SHE was (at least for the last year or so). You were, perhaps, lightheartedly or momentarily 'considering the possibility,' when wrapped in some post-coital bliss or something. Realistically, this is all a long shot, because in order to be together you'd both need legal advice, you'd have to become stepfather to four kids you don't know (while leaving yours with an undoubtedly RIPSHIT ex-wife). It would be costly and arduous in time and in money. If you really don't want to be with your own wife - that's a whole different discussion. But it doesn't seem to me like taking a baby step toward "consider[ing] the possibility..." of being together when the divorces are final (??) is smart or healthy. Two cents, friend. Just keep your shit together, okay? --VM--
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