The Want to Want to Move On
I want to move on now, but I want to be here when she comes back. I want the heartaches to stop, but I want to feel her heart beating up against me once more. I want the desires to stop, but I want the feelings of her desires for me to continue. I want the memories to end, but I want to continue making new ones. I've been through this, as you all know, many times before. I've always chosen to be here for her when/if she comes back. I made the choose to get back on this ride many times because the alternative of never riding again was never considered an option. I want that to be an option now. I want to not want to be here anymore. I want to not want to continue on the roller coaster I've been on these last four years. I want it to now be time to move on.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 2:27 PM
4 Comments:
Beans beat me to the punch again.
You are talking the talk.
All that is left is walking the walk.
it's never really over. it's always just begun.
if you don't need it. if you don't want it. that's fine. just admit it. just let it be just what it is.
hearts can still dream, now and then. a wish is the most real thing they have.
now and then, it's the wishes. it's the things we never were that keeps the candle alive when the winds are harsh.
"I want to not want to continue on the roller coaster I've been on these last four years. I want it to now be time to move on," you wrote. Well consider me your fairy godmother - >poof< - I just made NOW the time, and I just made the roller coaster end. I can see why she closed the account. Until and unless you showed up with a separation agreement and a house all ready for her and the kids to move in to, why would she wish for something that would only continue to harm her? You need to grieve the ending here and trust that though it is sad, it is over. --VM--
yes darling, we are so much at very the same place
i want to keep hope but lose it at the same time
hugs to you..
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