Hangup Part II
We accomplished in a morning what normally took a week. Sara started off the morning with an email telling me how happy she is, what a wonderful summer she's having, how good sex is with hubby, etc. etc. (Next week will be the festival where we met 5 years ago) Then in an email she tells me shes going to the festival but only because her friends talked her into it. And that if she does good (stays away from me) then she's well on her way. Later email tells me she's tempted to give me a time and place (at the festival). A later email tells me a time and place. Then she says she'd better get fucked by me soon or she'll have the poolboy take care of her. Ok, so we're at the top of the biggest hill now. She goes from being pissed to telling me she hates me because I used the word 'was' when I was referenceing a time I told her being in love with her. She took the past tense to mean that my love was as well. WTF?
So I call her and we have a semi-heated discussion where she acuses me of this being only a ploy to trap her. And that it always has been like that. Basically saying love has nothing to do with why I'm around all these years. The last thing she says before hanging up is "now I know what you've wanting all along. its the same thing everybody around me wants. my legs open and my mouth shut!" Double WTF? The topic of sex never entered into this phone conversation. But obviously its what was driving every comment she was making towards me.
By noon we had hit the bottom of the hill. Again.
So I call her and we have a semi-heated discussion where she acuses me of this being only a ploy to trap her. And that it always has been like that. Basically saying love has nothing to do with why I'm around all these years. The last thing she says before hanging up is "now I know what you've wanting all along. its the same thing everybody around me wants. my legs open and my mouth shut!" Double WTF? The topic of sex never entered into this phone conversation. But obviously its what was driving every comment she was making towards me.
By noon we had hit the bottom of the hill. Again.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 12:42 PM
6 Comments:
I'll be the first to comment on my post. I know exactly what went on here. Typing this out, then reading it made it crystal clear. I don't need the obvious pointed out to me. And I know her feelings for me overwhelm her just as much as mine do for her. But I'm documenting what goes on between us, so there it is.
DII2, you can delete this comment if you need to, but reading that -- my first thought was that she sounds like she has a touch of the bipolar disorder. Up and down, up and down. None of what you describe about these interactions is reasonable, ito me. It's dramatic, overly so, insanity-making (or crazy making, if you wish), untenable, and disconnected from reality. But it's clear that both of you feed on this roller-coaster, and maybe actually leaving your wife to be with Sara would kill the coaster's momentum...? --VM-- (shaking head)
No, I'm crazy like this when I'm going through a break up, and I'm guaranteed not bi-polar. Usually it simply gets to the point where I have to break off all contact - even by barring my outgoing calls and sms's and disconnecting the internet for a while.
definitely not so normal. I too have dealt with ups and downs with an other married person in my life..and its behind me now but the ups and downs were never THAT much within a day. I'm sorry but i do think that it sounds like this girl is not dealing with a full deck. Sorry.
Guess I'll respond to the concerns about her mental health. I did think at one time she might be bi-polar, so I did some research and determined she's nowhere near that state. During the last phone conversation we had, she admitted her frustration with herself for not being able to deal with this as a mature adult. That I bring out the absolute worst in her.
I think if you put her constant insecurity of/with me, her guilt, her frustration with herself, her unhappiness with her married life, and the fact that she's as hopelessly in love with me, as I am with her, you'll probably get this seemingly unpredictable behavior out of most people.
All I see is a woman trying to generate feelings of anger and hate towards you so that she doesn't yield to the feelings of love and desire which she cannot act on.
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