Quiet

Unlike the other lulls between my posts, this time she has remained quiet as well. I never closed the email account again but she's managed to stay away for over a week. And unlike the last few times she left, this time she left me with that damned "what happened?" question lurking around in my skull again. I realize it doesn't matter what she heard that caused her to hang up on me, but it nevertheless has my curiousity peaked. What was news to her?

Looking back at our last few conversations I remembered how she always took the angle of 'I don't even want an us' type attitude, which always prompted me to convince her how wonderful an us would be. I'm guessing that did two things - she'd hear things she wanted to hear, and I'd give her enough hope that there actually will be an us. Both of those being reasons why she never went far, and why we had that conversation so often these past several weeks.

Which brings us to our last conversation. I obviously said some things that ran counter to everything I'd had said previously. Things I was certain she had considered as well. Maybe she did, but didn't want to hear it coming from me. I certainly don't regret anything I said.

As is most always the case, I don't expect her to come back.