Click.

Although I haven't written much, its not because there hasn't been alot to write about. Sara has come and gone a few more times since the last time I posted, but it's pretty much the same way as the few previous times. Except this last time. She hung up on me. Not in anger - I don't think. When we got around to the 'us' part of the conversation, she told me why she was afraid to get together to discuss a future. She told me she was afraid she'd talk me into it. Well, of course, I had to prove her wrong and told her my reasons why I felt a future together would be impossible. As I talked, she listened without saying a word. Then I heard the 'click'. Apparently she didn't like what I was saying.

Earlier in the conversation I commented to her that it would be humanly impossible for me to expend as much time and energy into her if we were actually married. I (half kiddingly) told her it was a fulltime job already and we were far from being a fulltime couple. This came as a shock to her. Which then shocked me. How could she realistically expect that? I pretty much feel like I put my life on hold when she comes around so that I can give her as much of my attention as possible. I choose to do this, and enjoy doing it. But as I mentioned, it would be unrealistic to expect that kind of attention 24/7. But I believe now that's what she wants, or requires, to be happy.

So I guess I've given her a lot to think about now. Things she probably refused to think about otherwise. Reality really can suck.