Thinking

After thinking over the weekend about the last few posts that are here I realize I should never have gone there. It's not my intention to convince anybody of anything. But that's what it seemed I was trying to do. A lot of these details are private to Sara and me, and even though I'm hiding behind some anonymity, I still feel like I should keep her actions and feelings private. Same goes for the personal feelings that were shared to me by my special reader. Although she allowed me to post them, I shouldn't have. But I also realize, without those details, things would even be more confusing than they are. And I thank all who have commented or emailed me their thoughts, but for the few who have their own blog, please realize your situation, to most of us readers, contain no less drama. And like some of your blogs, mine contains only a very small snippet of my real life. This is only a half hour tv show in my daily routine. I'm spending more time bloggin about it then actually experiencing it. Although, I have to admit, some days it does become a mini-series.

As to my special reader, yes, she is telling me things that I want to hear. But there is not one thing she has told me that Sara hasn't already shared at least once to me over the course of time. There is no doubt in my mind however, that Sara is trying to deny our past. And the reason is simple to me - it is the only way she can move on. But I will be the first to admit, and realize, that feelings can change and that it is very possible she really has fallen out of love with me. I will know it when I look into her eyes on Wednesday.