A Visit.
Sara came back today. Probably just a visit, only time will tell. One of the things she needed to tell me involved her husband and DNA. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this, but he has hounded her for years to get DNA testing on the kids to verify that they are indeed his kids as well. Yeah, that's just the perfect solution to working out the kinks of a marriage. Words can't begin to describe how I feel about that. Totally incomprehensible. But she finally went and did it. Of course I can only imagine how he felt when he heard the good news. But I hope he felt horrible. I hope he realized how only a pathetic, self-centered bastard would ask for such a test from his wife. But maybe now he'll start treating them like the children he should have been loving since the day they were born.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 9:07 AM
5 Comments:
Ah, but to be fair, there was the possibility that at least one of them was yours, not his. Granted, because he didn't know this doesn't make any reserve he may have exhibited toward the children less reprehensible. Although it begs the question that if he was like this from the first one, why she would keep having them with him.
It does make us wonder about what Sara's deal is - I can see having one kid and getting 'attached' to a particular lifestyle and not leaving the guy, but why keep having the (unprotected) sex and reproducing with a guy like that? Martyr complex? The need to be 'right' about what a jerk she's married to? Or is it that she kept hoping you were wrong about staying with your wife and would leave and beg Sara to be with you? [It is also entirely possible that he didn't actually ask for this, and that it didn't actually happen just recently. DNA parentage tests can take months to be returned.] --VM--
Please realize that my hypocrisy on this issue doesn't escape me. Not by a long shot. But trust isn't something you maintain in someone by constantly checking up on them. And the irony won't escape me either since its the first two boys that he has been reserved with. They were around before me. It's the last two he treats differently. Two that very much could have come from me.
Why did she continue to have kids with him? The plan. Get married, buy a big house. Fill with children. 4 of them. She continued with the plan because not to do so would have disrupted her life. However, the last two were the result of drunk sex, and not entirely planned out.
VM - she told me about his request way back within the first couple months of when we met. and he brings it up occasionally when they fight about things. i didn't press her on why it came about again. but i'm guessing she went through with it as a way to 'work on her marriage'.
Ummmmmmm..."pathetic, self-centered bastard"
Pot
Kettle
Black
Sounds like the same type of person that might write "I'm guessing she feels hearing my voice will crumble her wall. But I would bet anything that if I were to pick a time and place - she'd be there. But if I were to let my insecurities out, I would wonder if she's just not here to reassure herself that she can move on without me. That I've lost the ability to tear down her wall. Unfortunately for her, I see that as a challenge."
IMO you don't have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to such judgements.
If you want an emotional punching bag willing to take the lumps to please the men in her life, you have found it in Sara, and you take full advantage of her in this regard. Maybe if you *really* loved her you would not let her back...for her own good.
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