The Setup.

I apologize for not posting in awhile but I really don't have much to say. Although I'm doing great, I still have to be careful not to think too much about Sara. It's very easy for the good memories to head south into wondering how she can now stay away for so long. Its getting easier for me to doubt her love for me now. And it's easy for that to lead me into thinking of our bad times. So I try not to think too much at all.

It's her birthday in a few days and I've sent her something in the mail. I could never send her anything of value, especially when I'm cloaking it as a free gift from some random company. But I can send her a memory, and that is what I did. I'd like to be a fly on the wall when she opens it so that I can see her smile. That's all I need to continue on in a good place. But the big problem is, I won't be able to see that. I'll have to imagine it, and that's what is tough. And yes, as much as it wasn't my intention, I will begin to wonder why she hasn't called to at least thank me for the gift. Or in some way, send me that smile. I knowingly set myself up for this, and I'm preparing myself for a big crash. Any ideas on how I can inflate some emotional airbags?