Addiction
That word has been used a lot lately in comments to my posts. But there is no addiction here, at least not anymore. Its been a long while since things have been the way they were with the nonstop emails, the constant sexual tension, the stolen moments to talk with each other, the feeling of having a special little secret. All those things are what makes an affair so damn much fun. Its what gives us the extra spring in our step, and the 'out of the blue' shit-eating grins during the day. That was the addiction, but we're past that. Yes, it was very difficult to adjust to a normal life again. What did I ever do, before Sara, to fill so much time in the day? LOL. Do I crave to have that back again? Possibly. But more so now because it would be an indication that she's back. But that's not what's driving me. At least I don't think so.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 6:23 AM
3 Comments:
Who the hell would use the word addiction?? You don't have an addiction and I certainly don't have one. No addictions here, for sure. The reason I am shaking and sweating has nothing to do with withdrawl. Nope, no addictions for me. I think it is more of an obsession in my case. Wink. Wink.
that energy put into an affair? the emails, the calls, the inuendos, the constant attention, continues to fuel that intensity, keeps the relationship hot, and climbing higher and higher...
all of which tends to drop off once dating is over and marriage is in place, with all the other responsibilities that fall into a continuing, long term relationship.
no wonder so many marriages aren't HOT. The obsession fractures into a million other avenues other than just sex: kids, house payments, work, garden, honey do lists...
Tendency is, you get out of something, what you put in.
Affairs are like dating, back when we were kids and actually dated...our first crushes (read: obsessions), our first shared sexual experiences, our first mini-experiences of mania and depression. There is a chemical/hormonal component to those feelings, and that component is certainly dulled or smoothed by routine (read: marriage). There's something bigger here though (my broken record?), and it's this two-note symphony. (1) Why on earth get legally married (and why have kids)? It's not the '50s any longer - we do not need to marry to have interesting, compelling lives! To hear many bloggers tell it, the marriage decision was the single worst mistake they ever made... (2) Why not propose an open marriage, or the newfangled, trendy "hotwife" thing, or swinging or swapping or some such...? In an open marriage, there's no sneaking around, no deception, no spouse sitting at home potentially unhappy with their cheating spouse but feeling powerless to do anything about it. I know the answers to these questions - before you all jump on me! - but I raise them to make the point that individual free will cuts all ways, not just in the slant or bias that most privileges your affair. --VM--
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