You'd Think I'd Learn.
A weekend a while back Sara was going back to her hometown to meet up with a friend and to hopefully meet up with other old friends at the usual old stomping grounds. Considering its a small town, the chances were pretty good that if her friends were still around, they'd still be hanging at the same places. As she was driving there she called me to tell me all about the outfit she had bought to wear when she goes out. Well, after telling her how turned on I had become just picturing her wearing it, I also suggested that it might not be the appropriate thing to wear - considering how small the town was. I said it sounded perfect to go clubbing in and around the bigger cities, but in a small corner bar it would definately give people an impression of her I'm sure she didn't want to give. I joked (but actually was serious) that jeans and a tight sweater was all she needed to have the guys drooling over her. When the conversation ended we both continued merrily on our seperate ways. So I thought. Three minutes later she called back and started screaming at me, crying, and screamed some more at me. She was unbelievably upset. My comment turned her fantastic, free from the kids, free from her husband, going to party with the girls kinda day and flushed it down the toilet. I had no intention of doing that, in fact I thought I was being helpful by telling her what I did. I know how subconscience she gets. It was obvious she had taken my suggestion as criticism and went off the deep end. Not only did I get a "fuck you" and a hang up, she called back once more to give me 3 more "fuck you's".
This was not the first, nor was it the last time I was misunderstood when making a comment. In each of these incidents hindsight taught me why there was a misunderstanding, yet armed with that knowledge, I still manage to invoke like situations. And as long as I care about somebody, that will remain an inevitability.
Oh, how did that previous incident end? That was the only outfit she brought along so she wound up stopping at a K-mart to buy jeans and a sweater. She apolgized to me later that night and told me even with that outfit, she still felt a little self-conscience. BTW, surprisingly it was her husband that picked out the first outfit for her to wear. What the f! was he thinking?
This was not the first, nor was it the last time I was misunderstood when making a comment. In each of these incidents hindsight taught me why there was a misunderstanding, yet armed with that knowledge, I still manage to invoke like situations. And as long as I care about somebody, that will remain an inevitability.
Oh, how did that previous incident end? That was the only outfit she brought along so she wound up stopping at a K-mart to buy jeans and a sweater. She apolgized to me later that night and told me even with that outfit, she still felt a little self-conscience. BTW, surprisingly it was her husband that picked out the first outfit for her to wear. What the f! was he thinking?
posted by do_in_it_2 | 12:57 PM
3 Comments:
Maybe I'm missing an essential chip of femaleness or something, but I guess I don't see the need for that sort of reaction (from someone over the age of 11). I can understand she was hurt, that she was pissed at you, whatever - but why call back 3+ times to swear about it? And would she have been pissed if she had gone to the bar in that outfit, been ogled and felt self-conscious, and been angry that you hadn't 'warned' her? On the other hand, I have to say that 90% of the time, no one wants to hear what we have to say, unless it's wholly supportive, glowingly positive, ridiculously sunshine & roses. Maybe that explains our attraction to "American Idol." We secretly love the idea that Simon Cowell actually tells people they cannot sing - he doesn't just simperingly tell them what they wish to hear. --VM--
VM - she only called back once. I should mention though that she had recently 'left' me, maybe a few days earlier. The anger probably was as much a result of her coming back and me promptly making her day/life miserable again. Who knows?
oh affairs, aren't they grand.
she's got lots of pent up energy, that's for sure.
Actually, make it a question (do you think you're going to get oogled???) rather than a suggestion, and maybe it might workout better.
Misunderstandings abound in affairs. Can't possibly have the kind of communication necessary to get messages across correctly, and you're missing the years of knowing each other to prevent such occurances.
Well, even if you have the years, and lots of communication,
it still happens.
oh well.
thanks for visiting my site
me and mine? we're very very good
at miscommunicating.
unfortunately.
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