Good Save.

Sara: Do you think of me when you have sex with your wife?
Me: (without hesitation) No.
Sara: I do.
Me: (to myself) Shit!
Sara: I think of you every single time.
Me: (thinking fast - and this is true) That's because you can. You close your eyes, I don't.
Sara: That's true.
Me: So, I guess I've been disappointing you a lot? *grin*
Sara: (starts laughing so hard she can't answer)

That's about how the tone of our conversations have been. We're not afraid to get into those kinds of discussions (at least she's not) and yet we can laugh about it to keep things light. Although things feel a little different and more comfortable than usual, I know it's probably the result of her feeling a little more confused at exactly what she wants and doesn't want, and what she can and can't live with. Yesterday she had locked her email account, and regretted it hours later. So now she's back to our joint account - something she's not able to lock. In one of her frustrating moments she commented how she could be happy if I was there 100% of the time she is available. Which really is not much time. But she said she realizes that's not at all fair or practical to ask of me. Of course, that's exactly what I try to do anyway.