Desperation
People seemed to really focus on the threats that Sara has made. I thought I mentioned before that she has done this a couple times, and I don't take them seriously. They are just an indication she finds herself in some kind of desperation mode. We've talked a few more times and she has opened up even more into the 'behind the scenes' of her life. Stuff I can't possibly know without her telling me. As much as I don't want to divulge these things, they are things I need to remember if I'm to help end this relationship. But it summarizes to this. She feels she has finally come to a crossroads in her life. Her preferred path is a life totally with me. Not just partially with me. She wants to stop crying herself to sleep wishing I was there in bed with her. She wants me there instead. She feels her children are young enough to adapt to the change, and that my children are old enough to do likewise.
The other path involves 100% committment to her husband and children. Extinguishing all flames of desire that burn within her (her words). Helping her husband build his company into the multi-million dollar firm it will be within 5 years. And hope that money can buy her continued happiness. Oh, and only wearing frumpy sweatsuits wherever she goes alone so she never is tempted to stray again. lol.
So you can see why the storm of emotions have been blowing this week. Not only is she forcing me to make this decision for her, but she's forcing herself to really let go of me otherwise. I asked her why, if she is so sure this is what she wants, I'm the one that has to walk away. Why doesn't she just not come back? Her reply:
don't u get it!!
I CAN'T GO AWAY!! How do you stop doing something you don't want to stop. How do you give up something you don't want to give up.
It's finally becoming crystal clear to me now.
The other path involves 100% committment to her husband and children. Extinguishing all flames of desire that burn within her (her words). Helping her husband build his company into the multi-million dollar firm it will be within 5 years. And hope that money can buy her continued happiness. Oh, and only wearing frumpy sweatsuits wherever she goes alone so she never is tempted to stray again. lol.
So you can see why the storm of emotions have been blowing this week. Not only is she forcing me to make this decision for her, but she's forcing herself to really let go of me otherwise. I asked her why, if she is so sure this is what she wants, I'm the one that has to walk away. Why doesn't she just not come back? Her reply:
don't u get it!!
I CAN'T GO AWAY!! How do you stop doing something you don't want to stop. How do you give up something you don't want to give up.
It's finally becoming crystal clear to me now.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 6:16 AM
2 Comments:
It's clear to me too. You either decide to leave spouses and be with her or let go of it so that she can move on. Don't keep tempting her back. I'm not judging you. I just see someone (her) who is desperately unhappy and you giving her only some of what she wants fully, won't help. She is definitely messed up by you and her feelings for you. You seem to like to keep the contact going though no matter what it costs her.JMO
I read your blog often -
It seems you are both so wrapped up in the feelings you get, those forbidden feelings, that "high", that is just too hard to stop - especially for her. Poor thing - what she doesnt realize is that as hard as she tries, if you don't give her what she wants, staying with her husband is going to make her miserable. What she really needs is time away from both of you. She is confused. Totally.
I kind of agree with Anonymous - she is messed up.
MG - why does it always seem to come back to you? *gawd* eyes rolling
Post a Comment
<< Home