The End?
If/when i do come back it will be for good. I will not settle for only half of you.
Like all the times she has left before, I always feel its for good. No exception now, but this time it's different. She has put all the pieces to the puzzle together now. She has left me wondering no more as to what's going on in her head. And she has made it very clear what I have to do if I ever want to be with her again.
Although everything rests on my shoulders again, I've asked her not to test me. I still live with the hope that she will find a compromise for us - so I will fail her tests miserably. She told me she will not be back until I'm ready to give her a full commitment, and I have asked her not to come back unless she can accept a compromise. The lines are drawn. I hold little hope they will be crossed.
Like all the times she has left before, I always feel its for good. No exception now, but this time it's different. She has put all the pieces to the puzzle together now. She has left me wondering no more as to what's going on in her head. And she has made it very clear what I have to do if I ever want to be with her again.
Although everything rests on my shoulders again, I've asked her not to test me. I still live with the hope that she will find a compromise for us - so I will fail her tests miserably. She told me she will not be back until I'm ready to give her a full commitment, and I have asked her not to come back unless she can accept a compromise. The lines are drawn. I hold little hope they will be crossed.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 5:42 AM
8 Comments:
I'm sorry. This must be a very difficult time for both of you.
At least these lines, which have been drawn and redrawn, have names to them now ... and both of you will know why you're not crossing them. I continue to believe that there's no good way to end an affair. It's a Pandora's Box either way.
Gotta agree with Kayten on this one.
She made it very clear what you'd have to do to be with her again...any surprises there? Did her explicit communication about her needs/wants give you pause or make you reconsider your choices? Just curious. --VM--
VM - Almost since the beginning, Sara has told me she's an 'all or nothing' woman. During all that time, up until the last half year, I never thought the 'all' was even being considered by her. I always thought it was the excuse why there has to be nothing. Call me slow here, but she never explicitly made that an option. Of course, I wasn't even considering it at the time.
To answer your question - yes it did give me pause to think about it. But my conclusion was, I wouldn't have to make the decision. If we'd talked like I requested of her, I really believed she'd convince herself it's not feasible.
very simply, i think this is not the time for you if you don't want all of her...
why not?
It's a relief, I suppose in some way? To have made a decision? Interestingly, another friend made exactly that same decision this week. Anyway, he feels it's a relief. That being on the fence not knowing which way you were going,....
Kayten is right. There is no good way to end an affair.
Girls have a POWERFUL nesting instinct and desire once very involved with someone. We really don't know how to share. We want it all. We don't compartmentalize as well as guys. We logically know we can't have it all, but WE WANT IT anyway. Even when we know it is impossible, even when we know it's not even good for us.
PS. Thanks for listing my site. I get a lot of visits from people who visit you. These blogs just seem to get a life of their own after awhile don't they....
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