Still Here.
She still checks into email pretty regularly. That is, up until last Friday when I left her this email:
goes without saying, but i'll say it (ask it) again. i'm writing these emails for the women who wants to be here. who still holds out hope that i'll find a way for us to be together. if you're here only out of concern for me, or curiosity, then please don't be. with that frame of mind, what i write here may appear pathetic. if that's the case, please don't read anymore and let me keep some dignity.
I followed that with a few more 'lite' emails. She read them all, but that's been it. I guess I've given her reason to believe (again) that I do know when she reads these emails. But then again, this isn't the first time I've left her that kind of an email. But that's okay, maybe if she did know, things would take a different course. Lets be honest, her being here - even if she's hiding - has a lot to do with why I'm still holding on. Then again, knowing she's here, might also be a way of preventing me from finding other ways to contact her. I don't know for sure.
goes without saying, but i'll say it (ask it) again. i'm writing these emails for the women who wants to be here. who still holds out hope that i'll find a way for us to be together. if you're here only out of concern for me, or curiosity, then please don't be. with that frame of mind, what i write here may appear pathetic. if that's the case, please don't read anymore and let me keep some dignity.
I followed that with a few more 'lite' emails. She read them all, but that's been it. I guess I've given her reason to believe (again) that I do know when she reads these emails. But then again, this isn't the first time I've left her that kind of an email. But that's okay, maybe if she did know, things would take a different course. Lets be honest, her being here - even if she's hiding - has a lot to do with why I'm still holding on. Then again, knowing she's here, might also be a way of preventing me from finding other ways to contact her. I don't know for sure.
posted by do_in_it_2 | 8:40 AM
2 Comments:
Blog should be retitled "will you (pleaseforgodssake) give up"
Here's one thing I don't understand - in previous posts, you have said quite clearly that you have no intention of this ever going anywhere - so it begs the question when you ask her to be the woman "who still holds out hope that i'll find a way for us to be together." aren't you kind of screwing with her head? I'm not being rude, I just want to understand. Seems like you've come to that conclusion but yet you want her to still hope.
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