Still Here.

Can't believe its been almost 3 weeks since I last posted. No, we didn't even make it close to the end of the month, however, she has been quiet for almost 2 weeks now. I received another one of those 'time to end it' type emails. Nothing different than usual, but what prompted it was. She had lunch with a friend who has had an affair and made the choice to make a new life with the guy. Sara saw how happy she was in making that decision and moving forward, and it made Sara want to make that plunge herself. This was enough to scare her and thus decide, once again, she needs to end this.

Starting next week is when she will find herself alone twice a week for 4 hours each day. This will be something she hasn't experienced in many, many years. I don't know if I will be sharing any of that time with her, but it sure is an opportunity that will be tough to pass up. It'll be her call. I'm guessing yes.

One Month.

Ok, not quite a month, but we're going to try to stay away till the end of this month. After that, she will suddenly have two 4 hour breaks per week all to herself. Or to share with whomever she chooses to be with. She expects me to be on call during those times. LOL. We'll see how that goes. Fortunately for me, I've got several big things starting right now that will suck every last minute of my time, so I'll be able to hold my end of the bargain for at least the next 10 or so days.

One Hour.

That's how much time I had with Sara on Friday night. Better yet, it was in a hotel room. And totally unplanned. Things just fell into place, and couldn't have been planned any better. But she's backing off now, as expected, but I can live on this high for a little while. I don't plan on getting into details, but as little things come to mind, I'll post them.

Old Times.

Not much longer after I posted yesterday, she did come back to email and leave me some messages. Nothing much, just explaining why it'll be impossible for her to be able to meet me. But her plans are always changing, and by last night, the whole gang will be going to the festival. But not for more than a few hours. When I checked in last night, before heading to bed, Sara was in the account and reading my previous emails. Well, within the next 20 minutes we exchanged about 35 emails. Just like old times. She's as much back as she's ever been, and she has forgotten just how much she missed these times we'd sneak to 'talk' via email. She's excited about seeing me, and has me helping her decide what she should wear.

Just a side note here: She is always like this at this specific time of year. No matter how far she's gone away, she always manages to come back for this. Even if she's not able to go to the festival.

Unfortunately she'll be surrounded by friends, and the chance I'll be able to touch, much less kiss her, is very very slim. There is no doubt we'll both be very excited to just see each other. But just like old times, I do expect this to be short-lived. But I do hope we can get together in the near future before it ends again.

In Limbo.

Over the weekend she did check in and leave email for me. Nothing of substance, other than to let me know (by the lack of substance) that she's trying to appear distant. Although she recinded her challenge of having me meet her Friday night, I told her I'll still be there waiting for her. Since then she's gone into hiding, although I know she's still reading emails that I'm leaving for her. For the next few days I know the excitement will build for the both of us, but unfortunately we both know the climax will be very disappointing. The chance that we'd even have 10 minutes to ourselves, much less even see each other, is pretty slim. But Friday night will be exactly 5 years to the day that we met. And I don't remember having much more than 10 minutes together that first night either.